Bear Nuts: Butt boys
by StoticM
Summary: Evil, Fighter, and Lech are forced into a doing labour at the bar. Things will only get worse from here.


"Humans are odd." a male voice was heard from the a table in the bar. He sighed as he stared outside the window. The white blanket that covered the ground was beginning to melt away, he could see bits of it on the window pane. "They pay money to watch us do nothing. I wish it were that easy." A female voice responded.

He heard the plop of a bowl in the kitchen. "Mind making me some soup? I'm starving." He asked as he heard the clanking of what he assumed was silverware. "What the hell am I your slave?

"You're in there, it wouldn't take much just to pour me some soup." He surmised as he continued to look out the window. He heard more fumbling about in the room, and another voice? He saw a monkey walked out with bowls behind the counter. She walked around the counter and handed him a bowl and spoon then scoffed. "You look like shit. You ever gonna comb that hair?"

He waved his hands through his unkempt. It was wavy and he had a single bang fell to the middle of his face. He snapped fingers. "You ever gonna stop wearing that bow?" He pointed it on her head, it was a red bow.

"Will you ever stop being a goon? You're a mess." She plopped the bowl down and sat across from him. She placed her spoon in the soup, a strand of steam came from the bowl and then he noticed something. "Why the heck is my bowl cold?" She smirked in response.

He glared at her she kept her grin. _Childish brat._ he thought.

"Your lucky you're my sister." He cracked his knuckles. But to her it was just idle noise.

"Funny that's what I was thinking." She took another spoonful and ate.

"You wish I was." He glared at her annoyed.

"You act like one." And she took another sip, still not returning the glare.

"So, still following Lion-fart?" She smirked.

"He's meeting with dad for the games." He started to snap his fingers quickly. "Ooo. I gotta set up then." She replied cheerily as he kept snapping his fingers. She frowned annoyed at the noise. "You need more friction for that to work you twi-."

 _Foosh._

He rose the bowl under his finger as he grinned proudly. She scoffed.

"Show off." He let it sit there for a moment.

 _Click._

"The hell was..." he noticed the source of the sound. She pointed a revolver out with a grin.

"Put that thing down, it's not even ours."

"Relax," She rolled the barrel "It's never loaded."

He looked at her shook his head. "Hey what time is it?"

"Look at the clock over the safe, numb nuts." She said coldly. She

"It's behind me." He put down the bowl.

"Turn your head you putz." She tilted the bowl to her mouth and drank it. He turned his head and saw the clock, half past four. He had enough time. He grabbed his spoon and dipped into the yellow mess.

"Got a date, hotshot?"

"A job." He continued to blow into his spoon. She giggled and said something under her breath. He growled but didn't press it. He put the spoon in his mouth. The taste was bitter. "This is shit." And yet he continued eating. She stood up and fixed her bow then went to the counter and put the gun away.

"Why are you fixing yourself up?"

"I've got plans with friends…" She trailed off.

He smirked knowingly.

"Jealous? As beautiful as I am. I don't think anyone want so see us together." She curtsied mockingly.

"Go to hell." He rolled his eyes.

"You already are."

He blushed remembering that day. "One time! They made me do it, screw off!" He said as he glared at her.

She was at the door. "Whatever, spice. I'm off." She waved him goodbye.

"That's not my…' The door slammed…. "Bitch."

"And wash the dishes you little turd!"

He glared at the empty bowl in front of him.

….

"Ahhhh! It feels good to get out of there." Lech stretched his arms out behind his head as he walked, Two other bears following him out of their exhibit.

"It's still freaking cold." Evil exclaimed.

"Any suggestions on what we should do? I'm up for anything." Fighter grinned happily.

"How's about you knuckleheads help tend to the bar." They heard a voice above them on in a tree and stopped. A monkey wearing a red bow was staring down at them.

"Huh, Lech is this one of the monkey's you sold yourself too?" Evil smirked. "To be honest, I thought he's look for someone more his 'type'. Fighter looked back at Evil, "Really?" "Someone stuffed with personality," Evil rolled his eyes and smirked while Fighter did the same.

"Assholes." Lech blushed annoyed at the mocking of his 'relief' methods.

"Honestly, I'm not asking." She smiled haughtily, Evil looked at her quizzically as she dropped down from the tree. "These two owe me for sure, but you,' she pointed to the albino one. "Everyone wants a piece of you." It was a veiled threat, he shook it off as Lech broke the tension "Who the hell are you?" he asked.

She looked at him indifferently at him, then rubbed her chin. "How'd that chair feel, blue?" He went wide eyed once he recognized her. "There it is!" She smiled condescendingly at his realization. Evil looked at Fighter annoyed, he hated being out of the loop. "Bartender's daughter, we didn't get her name." He said as he filled in the blanks.

She smiled as she rubbed his cheek. "It's Sugar, Killer." Fighter narrowed his brow at the pervasive contact. "Hands off. And those monkeys weren't dead." He stated flatly. "What... the hell did I miss?" Evil rose his brow curiously.

She pulled out a photo showed it to them. Fighter grinned at the photo while others glared at her menacingly. It was the two bears hugging each other, the skunk was just out of frame and their frightened faces added a delightful context to the photo. "Where did you get this?" Evil gritted his teeth, he swiped the photo from her and crushed it. _This can't be the only one._ He glared at her and in turn she smiled in response. "I can guess you want us to work for those extra copies."

A simple nod came from her as jerked Fighter's cheek, "Not to be an ass-"

"You already are, of the smartest variety." Evil smiled mockingly, "But what's stopping me from leaving right now?"He gave a smug grin as the others glared.

She narrowed her brow at him knowingly, "Because of your 'performance' last visit I know one thing about you… Who knows what could happen this time? Maybe it won't be a chair coming for the blue one's skull..." She trailed on. He narrowed his brow annoyed at observation, then looked at her with an iron glare. "Ohh, did it get colder in here?' She smirked at him, like nothing happened. 'I want to put you all to work..." She walked forward ahead of the group and they reluctantly followed suit. But as they left two animals crept up to the bear's exhibit.

"Alright boys, you've been here before. I'll show you what you need to do." The monkey stated as she pulled them to the counter. "I haven't." Evil stated. Sugar ignored him, Evil narrowed his brow at her. Fighter turned his head to see the various patrons at the tables as music was playing, Then recognized someone. "Tali! You work here?" The mongoose was holding a couple of beers over her head on a tray as she placed it on a table with costumers. She gave a warm smile at them, tilted her to meet his gaze while holding a glass. "It's a living."

Sugar then pulled his head to hers and made eye contact, she smiled mischievously. He gave an annoyed look. Then his eye caught something new beside the jukebox, a safe? It was the size a large cardboard box. "Alright killer, Let me show you where you need to work." She then pulled him toward the bathroom.

Lech whistled as Evil looked dubiously at the two going to the bathroom. "Hey Tal!' he shouted as she turned her to him a glass in hand. "Jealous you can't join the devil's dance? If you hurry you can make it menage a-" The sound of a glass shattering interrupted him. Tali gave a sour annoyed look. "It's her head if she hurts him." She looked at hand… _This will sting later._ _At least we have first aid kits. S_ he thought.

Evil shook his head at Lech dismissively. "Do you have shame? Is sex always on your mind?" Lech smiled proudly, "Please. I'm Sexionary. I can tell you everything you need to know." Tali walked over and intruded. "I hear that's the opposite or have you finally leveled up from chump to pump?" Evil raised his paw for a high five and she accepted whole heartily. Lech growled. _Damn it, Sara._

The two walked past the counter and to the bathroom she opened the door and pushed him into the room. He looked around in the bathroom. Everything seemed to be in order. A dirty stall door, cracked tap, mysterious brown liquid spreading under a toilet stall… _Uh oh._ "So as you can tell you need to clean up the bathroom." "Alright, I expected cleaning animal poo." Sugar snickered in response _._ _Starting to notice a pattern_ _._ _This can only to lead to pain._ He thought."That's not shit, killer."He paused and look at the mysterious pool of liquid… He sniffed the air, he recognized both immediately _. T_ _hat'_ _s_ _blood_ _isn't it?_ _N_ _o,_ He took another sniff the dried scent filling his nose _,_ _blood and vomit._ _It's Blood vomit…_

He turned his around to see the monkey girl behind him. "Oh, I know what your thinking. How can I get out this? can't." Sugar stated flatly as she looked at him with a dead expression. "But I-" She threw the mop in his face and exited the room, presumpively to assign some more labour. He inhaled deeply then exhaled and stood there in the bathroom the mop still stuck on his head. "She jerked me around and made me feel big. Now, I'm stuck with the mess all over my face." He felt the mop water drip down his face. _Wonder how the others are doing_? He thought.

He grabbed the mop and looked into the stall, _What_ _the_ _hell_ _is_ _that!_ He looked in the toilet to find...a single finger in the toilet. He sighed there where no plungers in sight...He bawled his fist up.

Sugar lead Lech to a door, she opened it and let him walk inside. He walked into the cellar with her in tow. "Huh, I expected you two to go at it longer." He grinned… They stopped at the stairs as he looked down staring into the darkness. "So what am I-

 _Boot_!

She kicked him down the stairs, he went crashing down them tucking his head, "Shit!' He hit his elbow, 'OW!' Now his wrist, 'Why!' Then his knees, 'Oof!" He landed with a large thud on his backside. She followed him down the stairs her expression not changing as she heard his grunts down the stairs.

She looked at him as he tried got up slowly. He gave a pained groan. "Your knees good?" She asked.

"Ugh."

"Good you'll need them. My father had a bunch of his friends over for poker. They always make a mess and don't bother to clean up down here." He shook his head as dust came off his body. He noticed something as he looked around the dark cellar. "Where's the light?" She chuckled grimly. "The room hasn't been used since the fire. Good luck cleaning the broken glass and cigarette buds." He paused as he tried to process this information. She made her way up the stairs, "Not all my dads friends were civil. She chuckled and through him down a box of matches. 'Be careful. I hear the human owner might keep a body or two in here." she closed the door. "Biiitch!" He shouted as he shivered, it was cold down there.

She closed the door and made her way to the last bear. "Now that's settled you, goat boy." Evil looked confused. "Yea I'm talking you horn boy. You'll be help with serving." He gave unamused look and remained adamant as walked toward her, "I have a name-" She pulled a shiv from the counter and placed it to his neck. It was dead quiet.

He looked at her and she looked at him with a dry smile. The moment she blinked the shiv was gone and in his hands. "Child's play-" _Click._ She pulled a gun from the counter, a revolver to be exact. "Now. Put down the shiv." The animals looked cautiously at both of them, _Damn it, she's clever._ He placed the shiv on the counter stepped back cautiously. "Good boy. Oh, and don't bother trying anything funny or those photos will be sent to every patron in the bar today." She pulled one from her back and grinned.

Evil groaned as he dawned an apron and notepad as he walked to toward his first customers. Two boars. One of them Snorted, "Can you believe that she didn't want my apples?

"Slim picking around here considering the slop the humans try to feed us."

"Not even thank you or nothing, she's lucky her brother's fend for her. She's sheltered. At least she's got the best peach around here." He grinned at his companion as they shared a laugh, Evil rolled his eyes. "How may I help you pigs today?" They both looked at him and continued laughing.

"What's so funny?" He rose an eyebrow wondering what tickled their fancy.

"Just remembering a found memory of chasing some dumb bear across the exhibit, heh, looked a lot like you." He smiled.

He rubbed his chin,"Really? I remember firmly placing my feet up your collective asses? Maybe my memories faulty." and gave a mocking smirk as he narrowed his brow smugly.

"Two apple ciders you ass." He rose his hoof as Evil wrote down the order: Two Asses: Two Apple Ciders. He walked to another table as they both continued to laugh.

….

Many of the inhabitants of the bear exhibit relaxed outside in the warmer weather they were graced with after the forced hibernation they went through. Death sat on a flat rock in front of the entrance of the cave along with Prozac sitting on a folding chair with water.

 _Thud._

And with a loud thud came two animals carry large brown sacs with them. They approached the two.

"Hello?" Death spoke to the two animals in front of him, a cheetah and a golden monkey. He hopped off of his rock. Death gave a wary glance to the simian, he noticed but paid no mind to it.

"You know the drill. We need to collect food for completion. Aah!" The cheetah spoke, it yawned groggily. As the monkey scoffed at his partner. "Just give us your food, otherwise we'll have a 'problem'.

Prozac narrowed his brow. "We don't normally participate in the games I thought only the participants were only ones donating to the pool?"

"Change of plans, pill popper." The monkey sneered. Death noticed but made no attention to it as Prozac let them inside.

….

Evil walked back to the counter and washed his hands. His tolerance for the customers wearing thin, he need a plan in order to either acquire the pictures or destroy them out right, his reputation depended on it. He heard cracking noises from his left as he looked at the door to the basement, and to no surprise, Lech opened the door with a sour look on his face. His knees and paws were covered in dirt. He shoved him aside and tried to shower himself with water from the hose attachment on the tap.

Evil nose twitched as heard the bathroom doors open, a foul smell greeted his nostrils as he pinched his nose. Lech noticed his scent, "Dude, what the heck happened to you?" He saw his hands coated with brown spots, with blood at his feet, then to his face which had a displeased frown.

"Dysentery, Disappointment and a Dismal Disaster all wrapped up in a pleasant bow.' He then remembered something 'Oh, and Dismemberment," He gave Evil a human finger. He looked pleased as he took it and placed it in a cup of water, a souvenir for his collection.

'How was your day?" Fighter rose an eyebrow at him.

"Not as shitty as yours." He snickered as he laid the matches on the counter. Fighter chuckled in response, "Heh heh." his brow narrowed quickly, He kicked him in his knee and he fell forward on the ground holding it. Evil smiled in glee. Lech growled as he rose back up again.

"Be glad I didn't hit you with my hands." He walked to the tap, got some soap and washed his hands thoroughly.

"Alright chuckle-heads do any of you have a plan to get those photos?" Evil looked at Sugar talking to the patrons on the other side of the bar. Time was short before they had to be reassigned to their posts again. They both shook their heads. "Useless. Where the would you put a-" He realized where the other pictures might be.

Fighter seemed to be on the same page. "The Safe." he responded.

"Hey, Butt monkey's get back to work!" She yelled at them. "Lech, I need you on your knees. Clean the under the tables!" Lech frowned as the patrons laughed at his despair.

"Hey at least you know what your doing down there." Fighter smiled, knowingly.

Lech punched him in the face his head recoiled back with an audible crack of his neck. "I deserved that." He cracked his neck again as he rubbed his cheek. And trio went back to their duties again, with the same enthusiasm as a visit to the dentist. "Enjoy dysentery." Evil smiled.

"Back to the trenches I go then." Fighter scowled as he went back into the bathroom.

Evil walked to a crowd of female monkeys, three sat at the small table. "Tee hee, ha ha ha." And the incessant laughter began to grade on his ears. Two of them howling as the sat across from the other one.

She was quiet. She gave them a quick glare and they both stopped. "Oh my gosh, it's him?"one of them said.

Evil rose an eyebrow, than gave a smug grin of coarse they've heard about him. They then began to whisper in front of him. Again, he was ignored. _Great._ He sighed.One of them spoke up, she unlike her friends wore a red bow and a red skirt. "Don't by mind to their behavior." She spoke quietly, her voice was calming to him. He looked at two of them and narrowed his brow,

"You gonna order?"

"Water." One of them said. He blinked.

This was a bar. They wanted water.

"With Ice please!" The other one said _._

"We can easily get water any-" Thud! They both banged the table to interrupt The bowed one. Then glared at her "Phsaaw! We know! We just want something for free."

Sugar's ears perked as she trekked over to the girls table. "If you're looking for something 'free' Then you've come to the wrong place.' Her tone was flat. 'Order something or I'll have the mongoose through you out, she's stronger than she looks." She pointed to the mongoose in question giving a wicked smile.

"Please she's a little-" Tali was upon them like rain, and stared them down. 'T-Two Dacaris please." one of the monkey's said. Evil looked at the bowed one as he was writing down their orders. "Vodka." She said without stuttering: Bo beep and her sheep, Two Dacaris and Vodka…

Lech walked over to them and winked at the ladies. "Need to check for gum." They all nodded and let him go under the table, his whole body was under the table he looked around lazily, then had his eyes shift to one with a skirt.

He placed hand over her thigh and the same time he hit his head on the table as faintly touched the monkey's thigh as he pulled his head up form the table. He rubbed his head. "Idiot." Evil rolled his eyes as he helped him up. The girls laughed at his 'clumsiness'. But he had a sly smile on his face as he spoke to the bowed one.

"If your right leg was Christmas,' he caressed the leg, 'and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?" The others laughed at his poor attempt at pick line, but one of them smiled genuinely and giggled. "Hm hm. Cute. Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face." She gave him a longing stare.

"You can do more than that." He gave a predatory grin. "Alright, that's it other tables now. Tali move him." Sugar said as she walked back to the other customers. Tali grabbed his leg with her tail and dragged him away, again causing them to laugh. The monkey leaned back on the chair causally, but never let his eyes off him.

"What's wrong Tal? Jealous of my manly charms."

"I'd say tasteless more like it. You little pervert.' Tali squinted at him.

"At least I'm honest with everybody about it." Lech smiled causing her to roll her eyes as he pulled him to the boars table and left with sugar.

Evil walked to the closet table to the exit, it had three monkeys sitting down conversing but they stopped as they noticed the Grey bear in front of them. Evil spoke first. "Orders? Haven't got all day."

"Rum and cola for everyone here." one of them spoke as the others nodded. He wrote down the order: Three stooges, Rum and col-. He felt one of them pulled a piece of fur from his leg. He pulled the notebook down and glared at them, they just laughed in response. A growl escaped his lips as he wondered back to the counter. As the three met up again. Evil and Lech were fighting over the sink, but noticed a familiar smell.

Fighter walked in and placed something on the counter behind them a small red rectangular box with a pizza on it. Evil stopped wiping his hands, "What the hell?" he said bewildered at food in front of them specifically where it came from.

"So apparently someone left this in the washroom behind a stall." Fighter squinted at the pizza box.

"Alright then let eat it then before the others-" "No. we are not eating bathroom pizza." Evil squinted at his friend ashamed.

"And I don't think you would want to," Fighter said as he opened the box. The thing was pristine, he pulled out a receipt and pointed to it. "This thing was here for 3 months. Preservatives are the scariest things I've seen on this earth, holy crap." They all hovered over the box.

Evil spoke first: "Why did bring it here then?"

"Cause it's a freaking a marvel." Fighter folded his arms.

"Why are guys huddling over a box?" Tali managed to sneak up behind them. Lech held his chest, Evil stared suspiciously, and Fighter just smiled. "Looking at a 'pizza' history." Tali shook her head, As the others glared at him. "Just whatever you do don't give that thing anybody. I'd rather not have to clean up after a riot because everyone didn't get pizza." She poured out a couple of drinks on to her tray, then took a sip of a purple liquid from the back of the counter as well.

And walked over to Sugar conversing handing the female monkeys their orders. Evil smiled wickedly as she left the group. "She's an odd one." Fighter narrowed his brow, he had have to get used to his nickname. "I know. Wouldn't have it any other way."

"I've got an idea." Evil clasped his hands together.

"Cause a riot with pizza?" Lech squinted as he scratched his head.

"Something like that. Do you sill have those matches?" Evil asked.

Lech nodded as he pulled out the matches.

Evil grabbed them and nodded. He felt a nudge in his side from Fighter. "Mind if I add something." He grinned. He leaned forward whispered in his ear motioning his hand to the jukebox. Evil narrowed his brow, "I'm… Going to steal that."

The plan was in motion. As they both placed money in the jukebox. It began to play. Lech giggled as he heard the lyrics. The bar was filled with tambourine chimes and a jovial man singing the lyrics:

 _What's new pussycat whoa  
What's new pussycat whoa oh _

…..

 _What's new pussycat whoa  
What's new pussycat whoa oh _

Time had passed _._

The song had been played five times straight and the patrons… They started notice a lot of things about this song. It was fun for the moment, a happy tune with a harmonious voice singing. But they soon realized how short the song was, and it was starting to grow longer. While how the voice was getting grating to them.

The boar kept a solid, firm glare at the Three bear behind the counter…He knew and he wasn't happy about it. He was trembling as his face grew redder with rage. The two ditzy monkey's kept their ears closed as the third one kept her smile. Sugar looked at the mongoose oddly. "How are you not freaking out like the others?"

"Meh, Same shit as always. I guess I have tolerance to it."

"You've just heard the song…'It went quiet and started again, "Six times."

She shrugged as she held up the tray with the drinks for the other patrons. Tali and Sugar were standing in front of the female monkeys table as they brought them their drinks. The one with red bow payed for the drinks as they each took a sip from their alcohol. Tali took another sip of her of drink as she leaned back on the wall….

"Soooo, quick question. Are you bangin', killer?" She nearly choked on her drink as Sugar smiled crudely. Tali looked at her indifferently, she narrowed her brow. "Who are you-"

"Fighter, keep up woman." She looked at her nails then back to her. Tali placed her finger in her chest causing the monkey to look down, and then back up to her. "First off, I don't need to tell you anything, second-"

"I'm not hearing a no?" She interrupted with cocky grin. "Does species difference mean nothing to you?"

"Opposites attract dear."

Tali's ears dropped disappointed. "I don't think you know what that means."

"Whatever, Tal. He seems interesting to me is all. Maybe I'll play around with him."

"Are you going to-"

"Please I'm not a floozy. Just gonna tease 'em a bit. Get what I want and go." Sugar scoffed as she made her way to the boar's table. Lech followed suit with a grin on his face. He turned his to see Fighter near the jukebox hiding the pizza as Evil got into position. He strolled to Tali as she gave him a dirty look. "What?" she asked.

"Oh nothing. I was just thinking if you and Fighter aren't a thing. We could be?" He smiled. The monkeys at the table giggled all except for one. A tapping of glass could be heard behind her. "I'm flattered rea- Actually no, I'm not. You wouldn't be able to last long in a real relationship with me." She tilted her head and frowned. She was getting sick of hearing this, normally she would have ignored him, but she felt more agitated at him.

Fighter walked over with a pizza above his head. She caught him by the corner of her eyes. Her felt dull pain in her head.

Evil gave a knowing look, he watched Sugar talking to a customer across the room at the boar's table.

"WHAT do you mean it can't shut it off!" An angry boar spouted out. Evil gaze shifted to the safe, he just needed her distracted and he could work his magic.

"Oh come on, give me chance. A little make-out session won't hurt." He grinned as he flexed his muscles. She recoiled back slightly. "Because the first priority in a mate is whether they can kiss well." Growling back annoyed.

"Hmph, I bet you haven't kissed someone." Lech scoffed at Tali.

She looked at him solemnly. What was the best choice to shut down his puerile behavior?

"Your right." She grabbed Fighter with her tail and pulled him to her he almost dropped the pizza. _What I am doing?_ She growled annoyed at her headache. She was here to gain some money and food for the mongeese, and now she's about to ruin a good relationship- _Fuck it, I'm almost drunk._ She thought as she grinned _._

Evil grabbed the box and place it over to the male monkeys. "Special delivery just for you guys, enjoy with your drinks." They smiled goofily at the box. One of them nodded, "Thanks, I guess the rumors weren't true." He squinted curiously as he walked away.

"Doing this for your own good, butter-snout." Tali pulled him down into a deep kiss, his eyed bulged out for a moment only for him to slowly close them for a moment. Lech went wide eyed as Evil laughed at his expression. Fighter broke the kiss and pulled away for a moment. He looked at her then to others. His heart skipped a beat for a moment. Then he narrowed his eyes on her as he let the situation sink in. _I taste_ _d_ _blackberries..._ _delicious_ _!_ He licked his lips hungrily.

Sugar gave an approving nod from afar, "Alright, finally she grew a pair."

Lech rolled his eyes. Fighter Pulled away from her "Are- are we still friends or was this just a jab at him?" he looked concerned, but then gave a warm smile. Tali smiled contently as she fiddled with his hair "both." He frowned annoyed, "Why I'm being jerked around to today?"

And then the music started to play again:

 _What's new pussycat whoa  
What's new pussycat whoa oh _

"God, what a mood killer. I need to use the bathroom. Shouldn't hic* have drank too much." She ran to the bathroom.

"Butter snout?" Lech smiled condescendingly.

"This never the leaves the room." Fighter Growled.

….

As Sugar entered the basement for more alcohol, the mood had changed in the bar, as the music began to play for the seventh time. A silent storm was brewing as Evil's sly grin grew three sizes that day. He saw the monkeys salivating at the pizza finally after their hunger set in. He felt a tap on the shoulder as he saw a glass of red liquid. "Wine?" Fighter smiled as looked over to the table with the boar's. One of them very agitated as his ears twitched.

"Don't mind I do." Evil took a sip from his glass as he saw the monkey's pull apart the pizza. Dinner and a show:

They each held a slice in their hand…

They each held the pizza slices to their lips…

Open their mouths…

 _CRACK!_

 _Poof!_

And as they bit into the pizzas they all cringed, Evil could see their jaws lock as the food plopped into each of their mouths with a synchronize crack. Their eyes widened and their lips pursed. He could see them gagging as they felt the dust enter their mouths. The prank was cheap, petty even, but he didn't care. The best part? He locked eyes with the one who 'thanked' him and he saw horror, pure shock in his eyes. He gave them a devilish grin as he saw two of the monkey's quickly rushed to the bathroom holding their mouths like their lives, presumably, counted in it. The last one held his head and spat out the demented dish.

"Mwaahh ha ha!" He chuckled manically.

And as the room went quiet again the music stopped and started to play:

 _It's not unusual to be loved by anyone  
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone  
But when I see you hanging about with anyone  
It's not unusual to see me cry  
Oh I wanna' die..._

Everyone that was still left in the room sighed as they heard a different song, They were liberated from the loop. The boar sighed as his body lost his tension. His friend noticed and spoke up, "Jeff, you alright?"

He nodded. "It's just that damn annoying song, I'm glad that it's-"

The song ended it was dead quiet and then…

A tambourine started to chime and then:

 _What's new pussycat whoa  
What's new pussycat whoa oh _

"GODDDAMN IT!" The boar pounded the table as his drinks splattered on the table, and on his friend as he bolted out the room.

"Ha ha. That was awesome." Lech grinned as he saw the boar run out the bar behind him as well. He then noticed the Female monkey he was talking to. She smiled at him again, a warm welcoming one as she gave him a piece of paper.

Lech looked at hand and saw letters "What-"

"My email. We'll talk later, bleu." She caressed his cheek the whispered in his ear. "My name's Diane." It sent chills down his spine. "Name's Lech baby." He clicked his tongue as she walked out with her friends. "Heh, good job Casanova." Fighter smirked.

"I am THE man after all." Lech smirked. Evil walked to them a single picture in his paw. "When you two are done jerking each other." Evil snorted as he placed his hand up, They each gave him a high five and They all shared a laugh with him "Ok, Credit where it's due Fighter. How many more times will it play anyways?" Evil said.

"Twenty-one." He replied as he gave a Cheshire grin, a small chuckle accompanied with it.

"Your going to hell."

"See you there." Fighter smiled. Evil placed his hand on his head and patted it condescendingly.

Lech and Fighter both glared at him, then looked at each knowingly. Fighter placed his arm around Evil shoulder and Lech's shoulders. "Good job, you cantankerous fiends. Lech gave Evil a noogie as he pulled him down in the huddle they had. Evil growled annoyed, but had a playful grin.

The monkey glared at the trio. Then saw the gun holstered on the monkey's waist. He got up and walked her. "Hey!" He yelled annoyed. She looked over to the disgruntled monkey. And then the shit-storm began. He stared to growl at her telling her how the bar was seedy, unprofessional, and the final thing set her off... "And your drinks taste like tap water!" She pulled he hand back.

He grasped weapon as she leaned forward.

 _Slap!_

The listeners ears twitched from the sound of the impact. His cheek burned but he got what he wanted.

"Get- 'She noticed the gun in his hands. He aimed it at the trio.

 _Bang!_

The smell of burnt powder filled the air along with the smell of burnt hair. A red pool dripped on the ground and spread outward. _She pointed that at_ _ **him**_... a voice pulled her out of trance.

"Vacuous, bastard!" A bottle flew from the counter and into his head. He fell with a thud as Sugar recoiled back from the victim, he held his head in pain. Fighter looked vehemently at the fallen animal breathing heavily as the gun rolled on the ground.

"Dude chill and vacou-what?" Lech narrowed his brow confused.

"Heh, spin the bottle got a lot more fun." Evil smiled at the prone form of the monkey as they rose from the counter.

Sugar noticed the liquid was familiar, it was red wine. _Jesus!_ She thought as she picked up the gun and placed it on her waist. and grabbed the patron by his arm. "Get. The. Fuck out of my establishment." She threw him out the door as he landed on the pavement. He hobbled to the side and fell on the ground.

The bears looked her oddly, she locked eyes with them then the safe. She walked past them to it and started to put in the combination. "You knew the code?" Fighter squinted at Evil, he scoffed in response, to him it was just another locked door that he could pry into. "Nothing stops me." He said as he heard the door open and the smell properly filled the air.

She saw the remains of the charred photos, and the remains of a plastic bag she had in the safe...she sighed. "All of you JUST leave." Her voice was barely above a whisper it was a solemn tone. Fighter narrowed his brow at Evil. He rolled his eyes and handed him the remaining photo. He walked to her as she noticed him from behind her. "You mind leaving? I'm pis-" He handed her the photo. "Sorry isn't enough, but this is a start."

He started to walk with the others out the door and back to their home.

"Why does being good' feel weird?" Evil groaned annoyed.

"You have a loose definition of good." Lech replied.

"Because being good requires so much when it matters the most." Fighter yawned.

As got out of earshot as she paused for a moment. She looked at the photo with a bitter smile. Then the bathroom doors opened... _Right. Her and the other men._

Tali held her head as she looked over the damage, she noticed a bullet hole through the counter and the bottle remains on the ground. "Wow, I missed- everything."

"Congrats, your unemployed. Welcome to the real world."

"What?" She looked confused as she pushed the mongoose out the door... She stood there for a moment and saw the monkey passed out on the ground. She sighed... "Party animals."

Sugar looked at the jukebox still playing it's tune and pulled her gun… _Bang!_

They needed a radio anyways.

….

"What do you mean 'we've' been robbed?!" Lech shouted angrily in the cave. It was so loud it echoed and caused Cara to hold her ears in pain, she was the closest to his little outburst. Death walked out of the room.

"It's Exactly as you said, our food is gone." Gay replied narrowing his brow at Lech from the kitchen. He returned the glance with a scowl.

"You must have the attention span of a goldfish." Sara rolled her eyes at him as she folded her arms. She gave a concerned look as she saw her sister shake her head. Lech growled at her in response, Sara retorted with a smug smirk.

"They didn't grab my bamboo." Vanity smiled proudly.

"I doubt anyone would want that garbage." Lech exclaimed.

"As Vanity pointed out not everything was taken." Prozac said holding up a can of food. "We at least have a couple of these left." Vanity walked up Prozac and grabbed the can.

"This is ravioli." He said flatly. He stuck his tongue out in disgust. Prozac looked at him dubiously, he didn't see a problem with this they could at least hold out on the cans they had left.

"It's practically dog food." Sara sneered.

"It's either dog food or fish head stew." Prozac tried to stay positive.

"Sooo. Starve then?" Evil said bitterly. Prozac gave a bitter glare.

Fighter held the bridge of snout frustrated. "Let me get this straight..."

"Does every guy here have the attention span of a toddler?" Sara interrupted.

"Ok then,' he squinted at her. 'Who was watching them?"

She would of retorted but her sister chimed in. "Good question." She cleaned out her ears.

All eyes fell on their leader. He stood firmly and spoke. "They had a change in the terms for the event, they couldn't pilfer as much food so they're taking extra."

"And did you watch them?" Fighter asked. Prozac open his mouth and rose his paw. He then realized his mistake. "I assumed they would take as much as they needed?" He grinned hoping they would understand.

Oh they did alright. Mike said as he laid on the chair his little tail wagged furiously.

"You know what happens when you assume right?" Evil pouted.

"Something about asses?" Lech said.

"Big beautiful Butts." Mike grinned with Lech.

"Forget it, it's fine. Mistakes were made." Fighter shook his head. Nerd shuffled around the kitchen area and pulled out some snack bags on the table.

"Sweet! We're golden till the competition." Lech smiled.

Nerd frowned at Lech's ignorance. "It's all junk food."

Lech shrugged as he walked to kitchen to grab it, Prozac stopped him. "What? I'm starving."

"We need to be fit in order to stand a chance." Prozac glared at Lech.

"It begins." Fighter said.

"Drama queen. Gay smiled playfully.


End file.
